A Weighty Issue #4

via This Girl Can Campaign

When we last left this I was having in treatment and decided that trying to tackle both issues was simply not the best idea. I was discharged at the end of October and spent the rest of the time put the theory into practice.

Christmas came and I felt ready to get fitter and to start again. I logged back into My Fitness Pal (User name: Unevenlemming) as well as link up with the Fitbit app. I wanted to spend January tracking my everyday life, food and excerise, to see if there was any pattern or trigger that could be addressed.

I found this great motivation, I started to make changes before I planned. January was my daughter's 1st birthday and I knew there would be celebrations throughout so planned to start in February rather than fight temptation in Jan. I needed of worried, I was already making sutble changes, I decreased my potions, started to eat more balanced (as well as making sure I eat), walked more and if I wasn't leaving the house that day using the stationary bike.

I lost 4lbs in January with slight changes (3lbs in two weeks!), and I'm trying to put in some activity 5 times a week.

Now it's February, I've set up a great base to evolve from but now it's time to step it up a bit. I got myself a fitness tracker, brought off of eBay for £28, it's UP by Jawbone. It tracks my activity as well as my sleeping patterns as this can play a part in what you crave to eat. As I've only just got it, it's still early days with my new friend.

I am very geared up for the challnage of getting fitter, because that's my aim is to get fit. Beth is now more mobile and I want to be able to keep up with her. If I lose some weight too, brilliant, an nice extra bonus.

A Weight Issue 3 and Aniexty Update

 I decided to put these together as they have recently gone hand in hand during the past few months.

Regular readers would know that I my Aunt passed away at the end of July after her fight with cancer. This was a trigger for the start of the roller coaster of the past few months. I decided to self refer to my local mental health place, You can read the start of that in Hello Anxiety, My Old Friend. In my grief I stopped giving a damn about my eating habits and health, this lead to me eating my feelings rather than dealing with them.

It wasn't until I was half way through my treatment that I decided to weigh myself again. I had put on a stone in two months (13 stone 6lbs), I just wasn't surprised but the key reason I did weight myself is that I was ready to try and get myself back on track. I know my biggest downfall was just eating for the sake of eating and what ever I wanted rather than what I needed. I stopped going out and thus stop exercising, I now have cleaned off our static bike so at least if I'm struggling to get out I can get some exercise at home.

My treatment is progressing, I am happy to say that in the next few weeks my one-to-one time will be coming to a close and I will be on self treatment. I have been using a private self treatment programme, which I will be posting a review of in the next few days. With anxiety I will never be 'cured', it is all a matter of rethinking how I process situations and taking each day as it comes.

Thank you all for the ongoing support.

A Weighty Issue - Update 1

I previously wrote about my desire to try and start losing some weight in the original A Weighty Issue.

I started by downloading My Fitness Pal (User name: Unevenlemming) to monitor what a was eating to give myself a large shock as well as motivation. My milkshake craving, left over from my pregnancy, was coming in at 400 + each time, is a meal in itself. I also started looking for substitutes for things I like everyday, I found a lower calorie packet of crisps (Walkers Squares, around 99 a packet) and chocolate with whipped nougat centre (ASDA Own Whirly Bites at 74 calorie a fun size bar).

The first two weeks I lost 6lbs, which I was overjoyed about. The following week was tougher, I was volunteering at Newly New Sale so even through I was running around and took a packed lunch with me, there was still a huge amount of cake around. When I needed a sugar hit instead of fighting it, I hit the cake. I've now noticed this is my weakness at the moment. I go to a few baby groups during the week, they all have biscuits/cakes as much as you can eat and I do. I also was at a children's birthday party yesterday and it was mostly cake and sweet things.

I weighed myself again on Friday and I had put back on 3lbs, I hoped I would stay steady but I was not surprised when I saw I had put weight on. My mission for the next few weeks is to resist cake or at the very least be sensible with how much I was eating. I am planning to walk more, I do walk where I can but I'm sure I can sneak some more in and the static bike has been cleared so I can also use that as well now. Beth also wakes at 6am more now and will stay up, I know I am finding this tiring and its making me craving more sugar, I need to make sure that I get enough rest to adapt to this change.

I know there still some way to go and yes I am making small changes at a time. In a few months time I will be returning back to work part time so that will throw another spanner in the works. For now, it's seeing what changes I can make.

A Weighty Issue

I had been weighing myself every two weeks since I been going to playgroup, I had lapsed the past few weeks and today had my 50p to use the Boots machine as we have no scales at home (and I think if we did I'd be on them all the time). Did the usual nonsense, "Stand on the platform, head straight and stand still", and was shocked to the display, I was nearly the same weight when I was 36 weeks pregnant at 12 stone 11lb (81.5kg).

I am heavier now than when I started trying to lose weight the previous time. I logged into my fitness pal app and said that the last time I logged on I was 80.8kg (about 12 stone 10lbs) and was on track to lose more when I got pregnant. Recently, I've noticed my trousers are much tighter and the wobbly belly I had from birth is much more wobbly than before. I think I might of even found a new stretch mark.

My mojo has also gone, I just feel like a big wobbly lump.

There is a beautiful Jasmine Guinness dress hanging in my wardrobe, I brought it a few years ago and it hangs there with the tags still on. My bother in law is getting married in August and my aim is to be able to wear it (it's a generous size 14, while I'm currently 16/18), this gives me 8 weeks to try but this is not about trying to fit into a dress, but also to get my mojo back and get healthy that I can look after Beth for longer as well as when she's older that I can play with her and not get tired.

First a few admissions:

I am secret eater - I will be out on my own and 'treat' myself to all the things that are just sugar and fat, I hide this from Hubby.
I'm lazy - I'm normally get to the evening and can't be bothered to cook, even though I am not a bad cook. I stuff things on a tray and cook it (normally something with chips).
I currently crave sugar - I know this is because of my sleep pattern, and I didn't realise how common it was in Mums with newborns until I researched.
I'm a vegetarian who is fussy about veg and does not eat fruit - The biggest thing to change, epesically  as Beth is now so close to the age of being weaned and I will need to lead by example.

Ch-Ch-Changes

I literally will have to 'wean' myself onto vegetables at the very least, actually Beth's weaning books have been really helpful about nutrition and I've been hitting the recipes book to find more appealing veggie meals.
I've already re-downloaded My Fitness Pal app, and uploaded today's eatings which was very depressing reading. This will give an idea of how on track I am, I'm unevenlemming on there if you want to see the progress or be my cheerleader.
I've noticed my portion sizes have started increase again, I need to reign these in.
The one that everyone says, drink more water and make sure I carry a bottle around with me so I fulfil this.
Find some more exercise that is enjoyable as well as good at strengthening my muscles so I can make my back stronger.

Most of all I want to be happier with my body, and I am not at the moment. There is in black and white, now I have no excuses!